*Ladies, if you’ve been dating your on-again-off-again boyfriend for more than 3 years and he’s never once mentioned the idea of marriage, or even building a future with you – then I’m sorry, you ain’t really who he wants.
Don’t get me wrong – he wants you to be available, accessible, and stupid.
He wants these things because it’ll allow him to string you along until he’s either found someone else that he actually wants or until he gets tired of you pressuring him to give you more.
Ladies, I want to be clear – if a man feels like he’s met his match, his better half, there’s nothing on earth capable of stopping him from pursuing you and making you his woman.
He will freely give you his time, his energy, and his resources.
Your text messages and phone calls to him WON’T go unanswered.
You WON’T have to wonder why he doesn’t spend time with you on weekends, or in public, or when it’s daylight.
You WON’T annoy your friends with rants and tirades about how shitty and inconsiderate he is – to you.
When a man WANTS something or someone, he creates opportunities for himself to capture what he wants.
Men hunt. We’re hunters. It’s in our nature. So if we encounter a woman that checks our boxes, there’s no hesitation or second-guessing – we’re going after her.
Ladies, if you meet a man that YOU WANT, then you must first determine if you’re the girl HE WANTS, or if you’re just a “placeholder” until he meets someone else.
How many of you have been on this roller coaster ride
Go on. Raise your hand.
It starts with you meeting someone who appears to check most of your boxes.
You get excited. Hopeful.
And suspicious …
Because you’ve been on this ride before – there aren’t enough fingers and toes on your body to count how many times you’ve meet a guy who seemed promising, only to discover he was just another frog masquerading as your Prince Charming.
Despite all the red flags, all the writing scribbled on the wall, you continued marching to the beat of his drum, hoping one day he would finally recognize your value, your weight in gold.
But it never happened.
He wasted 5,6 or even 10 years of your life feeding you empty promises, lies, and headaches.
Or in other scenarios, he dated you for a few weeks, strung you along until he could have sex with you, and then kept you around for another few months to have more sex with you.
There was never any discussion of monogamy, or exclusivity – definitely not a relationship.
Instead, he told you to go with the flow – “let things happen naturally.”
Your inner voice assured you that he was feeding you bullshit, but the sex was good, and the experiences you had with him felt genuine. He even invited you to his family’s house – had you eating barbecue with his grandma, and running after his badass nieces and nephews.
You thought it was real … but you eventually realized, he was playing you for a fool.
I can describe these details without even knowing you because I’ve been on both sides of the coin.
I’ve been the one played, and I’ve been the one who did the playing.
I can promise you, I’ve done more of the latter.
So it’s with this knowledge ladies that I’m warning you – men WILL play you if you ALLOW them to.
We WILL take advantage of your emotions, use key/select words and phrases to lower your defenses, or we’ll use sex to manipulate how you feel and keep you hooked until we’re done with you, and that usually happens once we’ve found someone else who we TRULY WANT.
Don’t let that happen! Don’t be victimized by these men.
And the sad truth is, in many cases, while you’re being manipulated and breadcrumbed by the man you want, there’s another man, who really wants you, but you’re bread-crumbing him the same way.
This perpetuates a cycle of dishonesty and selfishness that has poisoned the dating pool for EVERYONE.
So ladies, protect your hearts – if it’s been months or years, and he’s delaying a commitment to you, don’t stick around hoping things will change.
It’s not your fault if he tricks you, but it’s definitely your fault for staying if he doesn’t pick you.
Southern California-based Cory A. Haywood is a freelance writer and physical fitness expert. Contact him at: coryhaywood@ymail.com. Or send him a message on Twitter @coryahaywood
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