By Kimberly Wilson ·January 2, 2021January 2, 2021
Black women are affirming all that’s good and great in 2021. Am I right?!
And we can all do so, with the help of affirmations guru Toni Jones. Jones is a psychology and women’s empowerment expert that left a disempowering marriage and created “WIFE COMMA” – a community that helps women “Wife Their Life.” In 2019 she released “Affirmations For The Grown Ass Woman,” an EP filled with positive affirmations and messaging for the everyday working woman fighting to stay grounded in a busy world.
As we think about all that Black women deserve in 2021, Jones shares New Year’s resolutions that grown ass Black women should be affirming, how affirmations work, and tips to overcome negative thinking, self-doubt, and drive positive change in life and career in 2021.
Do affirmations work?
Yes. Absolutely. We are affirming something at all times; affirming anxieties we have, insecurities, that we aren’t enough,our fears and scarcity around the availability of quality people to date. We are always using affirmations in our repeated conversations with friends, in the music we passively play, in the thoughts we choose over and over – even if they are disempowering. I like to flip this on it’s head – can affirmations work for us toward our highest good? Despite the science that proves words and thoughts have power in our life experience, I say simply to those who are curious about the validity of affirmations working, consider common conversations and thoughts you have on loop. Look at your relationships and media input? If we are already affirming something anyway we might as well choose consciously what we affirm, right?
What inspired this work and “Affirmations For The Grown Ass Woman”?
Many things inspired me but at the core it was the narrative of so many highly active women pain points with well being as a lifestyle. What inspired me for my first album were my clients over the years. I noticed a pattern of a particular limiting belief: they all said they didn’t have time to heal, be well, be mindful and practice self love and self care, much less make it a lifestyle. I asked myself how do I hack this limited belief that “women don’t have time to make their well being top tier priority”? Through meditation and prayer the idea downloaded “affirmation music.” I mean, they were listening to music all the time, in the car, at home, before work. . . and boom I got to writing. I wanted to create something women could fill their whole day with well being, mindfulness and healing on the go. I was and am so grateful I get to share this with other women. Now what inspired the “I See Me Mantras” – that’s a whole other interview, chile.
How can people use affirmations to overcome negative thinking, self-doubt, or to drive positive change in life and career in 2021?
Oh first it has to feel true to them, to resonate in their bodies. And it should feel good. You can’t just do it you have to feel it. For example, instead of just saying, “I am manifesting the love life of my dreams, I am a millionaire,”try instead saying “I am learning how to be love with and without others, I am so excited about sharing my self love with another…I pronounce that I am opening up more and more to financial abundance by how I manage the money I have now.” Then as you do it, imagine how it will feel to you when it has arrived. Allow yourself to feel the excitement of seeing that wonderful partner at the end of a hard day, or how it will feel to not stress about money because there’s so much in the bank. See the key here is to be mindful of how the ego likes to put aspirations and desires into a far away fantasy land so you can maintain the separation consciousness of the good you deserve in life. In order to overcome disempowering habits, you must be gentle with how we have been subconsciously sabotaging ourselves via our past disappointments. Therefore we can’t just use affirmations in a wishful manner or in a heady hollow practice but in a feeling manner that is in integrity with your logical and physical mind. If you know in the past that it has come natural to doubt yourself, create a affirmation that acknowledges that, “I know in the past I have made a habit to doubt myself, but I am opening my heart and mind to not doubt myself and I seek the information and people to support me in not doubting my magic and emotional free dope self.” I believe affirmations are a manner of intentionally talking to yourself.. However I suggest they be true and feel good, so choose your words wisely.
What is your favorite affirmation?
“I create a life I enjoy living, a life I love and am proud of – and from that place others are inspired to be and do the same.” I love this affirmation because as a natural giver, it grounds me into my intention to live my life based on how I want it to feel first not based on how my life makes others feel. Everything in my life has to kneel to this intention, even me.
What should Black women be affirming in the new year?
I mean, everyone has had a year, but black people – particularly black women have had a year. To them, my sisters, I would like to offer trying out how this affirmation feels to them: “My soul, my body, my mind are top tier priority, I believe in my worthiness, that my being is enough. I am unlearning the habit of only feeling my worthiness when I am productive. I remove ‘destination addiction’ in my healing and self care process. I am so grateful I am apart of the first generation of daughters that heal what our ancestors and the women before us couldn’t, wouldn’t and didn’t have access to know to do and because of this I live a life of irrational joy, spiritual liberation and emotional freedom, I really do deserve this that’s on periodt!
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